Sunday, March 20, 2011

Fencing - The Marital Edition

“He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.” Ecclesiastes 5:20

For WEEKS we’d left him out there in the barn. For WEEKS he’d been their protector. For WEEKS he’d not turned a curious eye towards them.

But then… he figured out they were DELICIOUS!! Who doesn’t like chicken??

After rash of (okay, 4) chicken killings, something had to be done.

Our puppy had to be penned up, as he would never be rehabilitated with a steady stream of chicken on the hoof.

I called the local fence company and had one of their cronies come out and do a free estimate. Unfortunately I’m pretty sure the trip out, plus one of the salesman’s house payments, was included in the quoted price.

I never thought I’d have sticker shock from a chain link fence.

The estimate came back at roughly twice what I thought such a fence ought to cost, but then again, my fencing knowledge is pretty limited.

The next day I headed to my friendly home improvement store and checked out supplies. Sure enough, materials alone were approximately one-third the cost of the quoted price.

“We can do this ourselves and save money,” we said once again.

And so it was on Thursday that we began the great chain link fence project.

We dug the holes, only hitting one septic line (a record for us on any previous digging project) and merely knocked a tiny hole in it that was “easily” fixed with a rubber wrap patching thingy. (My plumbing terms are pretty limited.)

And I say “easily” because it was only easy after I dug with a spade all the way around the four-inch pipe which was unusually close to a two-inch neighbor. But I got ‘er done!

So Thursday was dig the holes and set the post day and I was in charge of the on-the-post level, apparently my strongest talent in fence building. I can watch bubbles all day long.

We got all the posts in and level with minimal amounts of griping from my “supervisor” also known as my husband. He goes into Foreman mode and berates the help of their short comings. I threw a can of spray paint and hit him in the belly and his attitude improved.

Don’t you wish you could do that at your job? Your boss is particularly cranky, so you just whack him and he straightens up.

If I ever get a job again, maybe I’ll try it.

But only if I work for the government…

and am a union member…

and have a backup plan.

Anyway, my cousin came over Friday night as we were stretching the chain link. The husband had to pull his truck bumper perilously close to the house.

Please add at least $500 to the cost of the materials for my panic and anxiety. Ok, thank you.

However, no houses were hurt in the stretching of the chain link, which is another record in any project attended by my cousin. He is my hub’s regular partner in crime in digging up things that should be left alone, or cutting down trees that are particularly near and dear to my heart. Heavy equipment is usually involved.

Then yesterday was tie everything together and put up the bar on top day. The new fence shined like a diamond in the sun.

This morning as we left for church, we stuck old Lucky in his new pen. He sat sadly at the gate and watched the car drive down the road.

On the way home, the hub asked, “Do you think he’ll still be in there?”

“I don’t know,” I said. This was our first chain link endeavor.

But there our captive sat when we returned. And we were so proud! Not only that the fence actually held the dog, but that once again, we’d completed a project without having to get a divorce.

Maybe we’ll put away the money we saved for marriage counseling once we start on the bathroom I tore up.

Maybe I’ll keep another can of spray paint handy, just in case.


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