Sportsmanship

"He has showed you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."  Micah 6:8 

Last Saturday marked my son’s soccer team’s fifth game.



You know, the team that I COACH.


Anyway, we were playing a girl’s team, and one of the girls just happened to be a sister of one of the boys on my team. Their mother had told me that we would win the game because the girls’ team had yet to even score a goal in ANY of their games.


And that made me sad for them.


The game started out just like any other, with all the kids chasing the ball around the field. But then we scored. And then we scored again. And again. And again. And again.


It was only the first quarter!


I have two boys who are really good at getting the ball down the field and taking shots. So I took them out for the second quarter and I explained to the whole team the situation with the girls’ team. I told them that it was okay if we won, but it would be unsportsmanlike to just “kill” the other team. They seemed to understand what I was talking about.


Then, during the second quarter, I told all the parents on my side what the deal was and they all agreed on the right thing to do.


(Thank you, God, for my second group of good parents!)


And so I started switching kids around, putting kids who like action in the positions of little action and those who avoid action front and center.


Then I put my own kid back by the goal.


As fate would have it, the action came to their goal and one of the balls rolled through.


Everyone cheered! Even the parents of my team! I was so proud for everyone involved. It was a great moment in U8 sports, if such things were documented.


And then…


I see the referee talking to my kid by the goal. She looked to be getting on to him.


“What did he do?” I asked.


And she said, “He said, ‘We’re still going to win the GAME!’”


So I did what any other Outraged-At-Her-Own-Child-Mother-Of-The-Soccer-Team would have done and threw him out of the game. I made him run laps on the field beside us until I forgot about him, and he finally stopped on his own because his side was hurting. And then we had a llllloooonnnngggg talk about good sportsmanship.


Later I heard that one of the other boys had gotten on to his dad for cheering for the other team.


And so tonight at practice we’ll be working on dribbling, passing, staying in our positions, and memorizing our new team motto: “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.”

Game Face

“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

I know, I know! Another soccer post??


It’s a good thing I don’t like sports, huh?


For years, their parents have told them to share. For years, they have had ingrained in their heads that it is not nice to take things away from another child. For years, their parents have asked them to play nice.


Then they signed them up for soccer and now scream at them (albeit nicely) to “Get in there!!”


“Steal the ball!!!”


“Kick it harder!!”


Not really in their nature, I would say. A bit of a hypocritical situation, if you ask me.


What? No one asked me? Oh well.


During our second game, which was played in the rain on a 35 degree day, it became evident that not only were we a “warm weather” team, but that we had some hesitation about being aggressive enough to steal the ball away from the other team.


Remind me not to coach soccer again until I move to South Beach…


Anyway, I had a crazy idea at next week’s soccer practice. So crazy, I thought, that it just might work.


All my kids are six and highly receptive to believing anything an adult tells them. So, I told them that in their minds they had to be MEAN. I told them they had to be MEAN enough to steal the ball from the other team. I told them they had to be MEAN enough to take the ball and make a goal. I told them to make a MEAN face and I would take their picture. I told them it was their Game Face.

I also clarified that we would not be pushing, shoving or trying to hurt the other team, but that we did not have to be polite in trying to get the ball. I told them they DID NOT have to share!


We also worked on which way is left, which way is right, and the difference between a regular kick and a big kick. We seem to do a lot of goal kicks when the ball goes out of bounds.


“Big kick!! Big kick!!” now I scream, and they know what I’m talking about.


“Go left,” I say, and they magically move.


Amazing!


I emailed them all their pictures and told them to wear their Game Face for our Saturday morning game.


When they all showed up, we practiced our Game Faces.


And you know, I think it worked! They seemed to be more willing to get in the action and not just run beside the other team. They seemed to want to take the ball away and actually did a few times. They seemed to genuinely show an interest in the ball actually making it to our goal, or at least a little closer.


All that from a mental picture.


Whatever you’re tackling today, I hope you’ve got your Game Face on. I think I’ll wear mine to every practice from now on. I think half of a challenge is overcoming the mental barriers we put up in defense. Maybe a grunt or a snarl will help you get what you want to get done today. Or maybe it will just make you feel good.


Wait! Hold that thought…


Let me get my camera and I’ll take your picture!

First Game

"We do not want to be beginners.  But let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything else but beginners, all our life!" - Thomas Merton

I had a dream last night where my team showed up without their uniforms. Then after the kickoff, they all just stood still and the other team ran the ball down the field and scored. I was horrified that they didn’t know what to do, since I was the one who was supposed to have taught them.


But…


Today was our first game and everyone showed up in uniform and ready to go. Apparently green is a popular color this year for soccer teams in my town, so we weren’t the only “green” team there. Luckily we were playing a “blue” team for our first game!


Oh, how confusing it will be when we play another green team!


But for today at least, we were able to tell who was who.


We won the coin toss and kicked off first and it was only minutes into our first game when we successfully scored our first goal. When the ball went out of bounds, the kids threw it in over their heads with both feet on the ground, just like we’d practiced. Now, keeping it in bounds is another story, but let me revel when I can!


All in all, the game is a total blur, but I think we made 4 or 5 goals, depending on whether or not you “count” one made for us by the other team. I don’t know how many times the other team scored, but I know they did. At this age (6 and under), the teams don’t keep score and the coach gets to run around like a chicken with their head cut off chasing the children down and trying to tell them what they think they should do.


We had very little snot, and even fewer tears and no band-aids were needed, so I felt like the game was a complete success!

*Note to self: Must bring band-aids for next game, just in case.


I hope my little team left the field today feeling like complete champions. I hope they had a good time and enjoyed their sugary snacks from the concession stand after the game. I hope their parents had nothing but praise for them on their way home. And I hope all our games go just like this one!


Maybe being the coach isn’t such a bad gig after all!


Now if everyone would just stop calling me that, I’d be okay.

My Bane of Self-Consciousness

“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.” Psalm 107:13

So I’ve been feeling a little self-conscious here lately. It is an uncomfortable feeling for me. Brings back bad memories of Junior High, and pimples, and purple lipstick with blue eye shadow.


I’m feeling this way because I’ve dove off into the waters of soccer coaching, and I know basically nothing about soccer. My 6YO’s team didn’t have a coach and after all the parents stood around saying, “I don’t wanna do it,” I volunteered since I don’t have a real job and felt the need to “control” the situation.


Control… it’s what I do best. Ha!


Anyway, I took the paperwork, ordered up the uniforms, and made contact with parents for our second regularly scheduled practice.


The first practice was quite chaotic and went by relatively fast. We (me and my Man-Helpers) had the kids do simple “drills” or whatever you call them, like kicking the balls into the goal from a standing start and a running start and a rolling start, and throwing the ball in from the sidelines with both feet on the ground. We also did stretching and some running to basically wear them down.


So, anyway, here I am in uncharted territory on the soccer field, hoping I’m doing what a good soccer mom should be doing. Looking around, I see most of the moms texting and sitting on the sidelines, so perhaps I AM going about it all wrong!


Last night was the second real practice, and we basically repeated the drills we had the kids work on last time, plus a few added new items like battling each other for the ball, and “dribbling” the ball down to the goal. (See! I don’t even know the terminology!)


One kid cried.


One mom had a very surprised look on her face the entire practice.


And I believed them all to be staring at me, grossly aware of all of my short-comings!


I came home with a huge cloud of self-consciousness hanging over my head like the thunderstorm that follows Charlie Brown around in the Peanuts comics. My hub was of little help.


“Am I doing okay?”


“Uh-huh.”


“Is there anything else I should be doing?”


“No.”


“What else do you think we should be working on?”


“I don’t know.”


(He’s one of my Man-Helpers.)


I decided to go to bed early and picked up a new book I’d gotten but hadn’t read yet entitled What Women Want: The Life You Crave and How God Satisfies by Lisa Bergren and Rebecca Price. I’m not usually into self-help books, but I needed a cheap book to qualify for free shipping and it was $1.99. Here’s a link if you decide you need it too.


The first chapter was about…


Being self-conscious!


And since this is usually not my personal hang up, I took the coincidence as a sign that I shouldn’t be taking it so personal. I came to the conclusion that even though I may not know what I’m doing, the other parents don’t know either or else they would have volunteered for the position!


The book suggested you stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself, “I am a phenomenal creation of God.” You were supposed to do this ten times. Again, I’m not into self-help, but it did take me back to the days of Al Franken* on Saturday Night Live where he used to play Stuart Smalley. Stuart taught us all to say, “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And, doggone it, people like me!”


And there it is… My new soccer coach mantra.


*Al Franken is now a US Senator, so look where it got HIM! This could be good or bad. I’m not sure. Nevermind.


I’m sure this coaching experience will be a good learning experience. I like to think of it as “Soccer Immersion School”. Others would call it “Sink or Swim.” So far, my little group of 6YOs are coming together nicely, forming the seamless, cohesive group that is my dream for them.


That, and to be able to kick a rolling ball without tripping over it and falling down.


And to line up without wrestling.


And not to cry.


Basically, I just don’t want to be that mean, old coach that ruined soccer for them for the rest of their lives! Hopefully, I’m well on my way in the opposite direction.


I hope my self-consciousness eases up and I hope my mantra rings true. Pray for my team. We need all the help we can get. If you see me talking to myself on the sidelines, check to see if I’m wearing blue eye shadow and purple lipstick. If so, then you’ll know things have gotten REALLY bad!


“For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.” Psalm 107:9 ESV