Monday, May 16, 2011

Smile! You're On... Nevermind.

“Don't let your dreams go up in smoke - practice fire safety.” -Author Unknown

Had a real life moment of suspecting I was on Candid Camera last night.

My smoke detector downstairs started to chirp a couple of days ago. I thought it wanted a battery, so I replaced it. It continued to chirp. So, I took the battery back out and had a theory that they must chirp for a while as a way of saying, “Hey Dummy, put a battery in me!”

I tried another brand new battery, but the same thing happened.

After thirty minutes of chirping every minute or so, it finally stopped.

All’s well with the smoke detector, I supposed.

Then a full day of no chirping. Problem solved!

Until I was dead asleep in la-la land at 5:15am this morning.

I could hear it in my subconscious.


(Long pause)

Chirp again.

After regaining consciousness and muttering a few choice words under my breath, I headed downstairs to the stupid smoke alarm.

More trouble than they are worth, I’m thinking.

I perched myself up on the step stool, a perilous task for 5:15 in the morning, and stuck another battery in it. Then I headed back upstairs where at least another hour of slumber was waiting for me.

Right before I hit the stairs…


“@$&*!,” I thought.

This time I wasn’t bothering with another battery. I went straight for the screwdriver (another perilous activity for this time of morning) and unscrewed the sucker from the wall.

I threw it out on the front porch and closed the door.

My head had just hit the pillow when I heard:


I thought I must be hearing it through the door now! It seemed muffled in my sleep-stupored mind.

So I went back downstairs, took it off the front porch, walked it all the way back through the house, and put it on the back porch.

I had just made it back inside the house when I heard:


A few more choice words and a WTH???

I expected someone to jump out and say “Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!”

But I wasn’t smiling.

Then I looked up.

Last winter when I was inexplicably tired all the time, I’d bought us a couple of carbon monoxide detectors so that one night I didn’t go to bed dead tired and wake up so. This was before we had the Home Energy Audit that basically rendered such detectors useless due to the constant free flow of fresh air that our home enjoys. I remembered installing one in my bedroom, but had totally forgotten about this one. Opposite wall from the smoke detector. Kind of hidden by a tall cabinet.


So I ripped it off the wall, found it to require a different kind of battery than the smoke detector (of course!), headed upstairs to search for batteries, got them replaced and went back to bed.

When I finally got up for good, I retrieved a perfectly good smoke alarm off the back porch. Stuck a battery back in it and screwed it back to the wall.

So far, the chirping has stopped and all appears to be well with our smoke/carbon monoxide levels.

I used to change the batteries when we changed our clocks for the time change, but I never can remember if it is in the Fall or the Spring, and I don’t like to waste perfectly good batteries.

Maybe I should get on a schedule.

Maybe I should change out the batteries in the ones in my bedroom NOW!

Maybe I’m the only one being outsmarted in the middle of the night by small appliances!

Who says I have no nightlife?


  1. Hey- I think you are supposed to change them at each time change b/c that is approximately every 6 months, lol ;-D. The same thing happened to us, only we were at the in-laws and happened to discover a major gas leak in their furnace at 3:00 am!!

  2. I think I'll take a chirping alarm over a gas leak any day!


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