A Sonic Epiphany

“Youth is wasted on the young.” – George Bernard Shaw

*Note to self:  I should just buy oldest kid a coat for Christmas, as this is the second year in a row his coat has given out the week after Christmas. 

So last week, we had to run to Tulsa to get the kid a coat, even though it was 70 and sunny.  While we were in the 71^st & Memorial area, I decided to throw caution to the wind and say:

“You guys want to go to the mall?” 

Now understand that my kids have been to the mall probably no more than five times in their lives.  They think of it as a magic wonderland where you ride stairs up and down, and get to eat at a lovely place called the Food Court.  There is also a place called Candyopolis there, the sights of which makes their eyeballs fall out of their heads.  So the answer from the backseat was:

“YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!” 

Candyopolis was sadly closed, but was quickly forgotten when the crowds parted and revealed the beautiful neon of the smorgasbord known as the Food Court.  Unfortunately, the rest of Tulsa was still on winter break as well, and everyone had congregated at the Food Court. 

My children chose Sonic. 

Uh, did they not get the memo about their being free-standing restaurants where you don’t stand in line and they bring food out to your car?

Anyway, while I ordered, they held down three seats at the end of a long communal row of tables and chairs. 

When I had finally secured two Wacky Packs and a hamburger, I joined them at the communal table.  Our seatmates appeared to be traditional college students. 

I say traditional because my friend Deb has gone back to college and is a non-traditional student.  Not the age of the traditional college students.  Nice try, Deb.

As I sat eating my Sonic hamburger, I had an epiphany.  Probably caused by the caloric overload.

My children (who are 7 and 9) are now closer in age to these college students than I am! 

Now that’s disturbing.

Disturbing because I still think I’m with it.

Disturbing because I still think I haven’t changed much since that age.

Disturbing because I still have as many pimples as some of them.

So guess who was the “old” lady at the table that day?

Yep.  That would be me. 

A serious blow to my psyche. 

So from now on, I’m warding off Sonic hamburgers.  Apparently they cause serious introspection that can have disturbing results.  From now on, I’m sticking to only items from the ice cream menu.  There’s protein in soft-serve, right? 

Right????

Just say yes. 

Respect your elders, you know.